The Hindu Business Line : Changing horizons

For someone who has lived the past 22 years outside India, “Where is home?” is probably one of the most challenging questions to answer. Is it Chennai where I grew up? Is it India? Is it Albuquerque, New Mexico, where I live now? Is home really a place or is it a mental space where one belongs, feels loved and shares a community?

I think re-entering what used to be your “home” is, in some ways, more challenging than going to a new place. When I recently travelled to Norway, I had some anxiety about going to a new country, but this was overshadowed by the excitement of discovering and learning more about Norway. There is an expectation of uncertainty. When I come back to India, however, I expect to behave “Indian” and adapt relatively easily. My friends and relatives expect the same of me.

After almost two years of not being in India, I landed a few days ago in Bangalore and, this time, the re-entry felt different. Before I get off the plane in India, I normally take a deep breath and prepare myself for tackling hundreds others to get my luggage, and convinced that I am going to be cheated by the taxi driver. What a pleasant surprise to land in the new Bangalore airport! There was an aerobridge available; we did not have to walk down the stairs and take a bus. The immigration officer was professional, quick and smooth. The baggage claim area is spacious and the luggage helpers had a set rate for each trolley. There were air-conditioned prepaid taxis ready to take you anywhere in Bangalore. And when I smelled dosas from one of the airport vendors, I was ready to hug random people around me!

The first night, our two daughters, aged five and three, woke up promptly at 2 a.m. (The next day, one of our neighbours had the perfect explanation, “Too much jet log, right?”). We tried to get the girls to sleep, but they were alert and ready to play. Out of the blue, Suhaani, the younger one said, “Why is Ravana bad?” After a few seconds, Paavni, the older one answered, rather seriously, “When Ravan was a baby, his mother never gave him enough milk and water… he just ate fries and burgers.” Pause. “You eat junk food and you will also get ten heads!”

My wife and I are on a mini-sabbatical in India for three months. We were to connect with professors to conduct our research. I had e-mailed some professors a few months before leaving for India and did not get a reply. I wrote another set of e-mails after coming to India, knowing that Indians may not plan that far in advance. No reply again. I was trying to be patient, but there was an edge of irritation creeping in. I didn't mind someone saying no, but the silence? Then, one of my Indian friends suggested that I pick up the phone and call. So I did and a professor spoke warmly, “I am sorry I have not written back. I was just about to call … right now, I am in a meeting. Can you call me at 4 p.m.?” I was happy that I had made a breakthrough! I called promptly at 4 p.m. and the person did not respond; 4.20 p.m., again no response. At 5p.m. one last chance. But no response again. Hemanshu, our friend who recently moved back to India, advised us, “Three Ps to get by in India… patience, persistence and positive thinking.” Great principles anywhere, but tough to practise.

In the same breath, the warmth and affection of a hundred people engulf us… Anisha and Shrinidi, the amazing kids from Orchid School, Pune, who are brilliant, caring and giving… Sanjay, who is meeting me for the first time, and says, “You have just had a long day. Why don't you freshen up and wear my T-shirt?” … Agyat and Swati, who, through play and art, have devoted all their energies to help children use cooperation and dialogue to deal with conflict… Ritika, a housewife and a remarkable artist … Each of them teaches us lessons about love, respect, humility and giving.

The change… is it home? Or is it me? The silence from the professor is forgotten… for this moment.

(The writer is an associate professor in the Department of Communication & Journalism, University of New Mexico. Picture by Raghavendra Rao)