The Hindu Business Line : Resent it all?

There may be nothing medically wrong with you, yet you may be beset by multiple recurring symptoms like a paralysing resistance towards doing even your routine tasks, irritability when something unexpected crops up that increases your workload, low concentration, feverishness, dull body ache, moodiness, either a complete disinclination to eat or conversely, a constant craving to eat… and eat more…

It’s a malaise of the mind. And it usually is the outcome of a prolonged, simmering resentment against the people in your life. Your thoughts could run on these lines: “Why is it that I have to do everything? Does nobody else care?” or “Am I only a money-producing machine to them? Don’t my feelings matter?” Think of a man holding a whole lot of heavy rocks in his hands. He can barely walk except with great effort. Similarly, when you hold a whole lot of rocks in your mind, you feel everything requires great effort. Gradually, the nervous system gets exhausted, immunity decreases, symptoms start surfacing, and an illness could be round the corner.

It is not easy to reason with a mind overflowing with angry, self-pitying thoughts. It’s like a volcano belching out hot lava. Any attempt to pour positive thoughts will be met with fiery resistance. The best antidote is slow breathing in silence.

Sit comfortably, spine and neck supported. Close your eyes gently. Inhale to a count of eight… Exhale to a count of eight… slowly… rhythmically, without any effort, without any strain… Feel the tension drain out of you as you continue to breathe. If you feel any resistance, place your hand over your heart and rub it rhythmically from left to right while continuing to breathe. Feel a sense of reassurance arise in you…

Gradually, the thoughts will decrease in speed... in volume… in intensity. Your entire body stills. Any part that had pain now becomes numb. Now, visualise yourself entering a zone of silence… a beautiful zone filled with fresh air, aglow with luminosity. Feel the flow of silence. Silence is the eternal flow of a healing language unhindered by words. Silence soothes, heals, purifies, revitalises. Let not any thought mar this utter purity… A drop of water goes through a thousand difficulties to become a pearl; but for the pearl to become a drop of water and become the ocean, it has to just dissolve into silence… In silence, tongue, mind, heart and ego go into a deep sleep and the greater self awakens.

Anger and hurt cut you off from experiencing your greater self. This does not mean you must suppress such negative emotions, but that you start questioning their value. What value do our dark thoughts, our sufferings, out struggles really have? Gradually, we realise that the only value is that we can transform them. This builds up a strong aspiration to create harmony, balance, understanding from the start, instead of reacting with anger, hurt and then going through the process of transforming them!

So, we must not wallow too long in negative thoughts, in illnesses; we must use our natural genius to transform them into beautiful positive thoughts and the joyousness of wellbeing. Simultaneously, keenly develop a fit, trim, flexible body that functions harmoniously with the mind to further heighten wellbeing and self-esteem. Walk, jog, swim or cycle every day for just 30 minutes. Go into exercise with your mind hopping and skipping as a child goes to play every evening. Never allow yourself to think gloomily, “I can’t exercise because I’m ill.”

Ah no, always affirm with verve, “I need to exercise and re-programme my body so that the quality of my living gets better and better.” Please know this: our stomach lining renews itself every four days; eye cells every two days, skin every 30 days. Exercising, eating healthy and thinking positively conserve this newness. Exercising also drains the fever of fury from the body.

Know this too: you can stop thinking resentful thoughts by consciously and firmly deciding that no more will they scurry through your mind with their burden of dirt. The brain takes only 90 seconds to start and finish the anger circuit (or any emotional circuit). This means, the brain will not be ‘resentful’ after 90 seconds. But, it continues for another 90…90…90 because your mind continues to feed it. So, please stop thinking, “I am hard done by” and start thinking, “I am competent, thank god!”; “I’m grateful to have such immense mental and physical stamina!”; “I’m a champion!”

In some situations, learn to say a firm, polite “No” repeatedly until the message goes home. In certain situations, learn to look at things differently, with a fresh perspective as illustrated by this beautiful true-life anecdote: When the little girl was asked by other little girls what it means to be adopted, she answered with the great solemn, self-assurance of a sage: “It means that I grew in my mommy’s heart instead of her tummy.”

The writer is co-author of the book ‘Fitness for Life’.

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