The Hindu Business Line : Smiles, tears... and a lot of guts

HE has bashed on regardless... Cancer or no cancer, the creative juices continue to flow. This is Anoop Kumar who has just penned his second book on a subject that sends chills down most spines, but a subject that is no mere academic pursuit for him, but a challenge to live with.

Anoop Kumar's `Smiles and Tears' that was launched last week follows his personal account, `The Joy of Cancer', which made a long debut on the bestseller list and is now in its fourth edition. It is also being translated into Hindi and Marathi.

In fact, it is this response that triggered his enthusiasm to write another book, but this time he has put together poignant stories of 21 cancer survivors - of their smiles, tears and guts to fight cancer with body, mind and soul.

"Cancer. The very word evokes fear and fright. People are scared at being identified with cancer. Even in the 21st century, many a cancer patient still continues to live in solitude without informing his or her friends and family about the disease. What cancer patients fear the most is becoming an outcast in society. And being ostracised. Others feel that a cancer experience is a very personal experience, not to be shared by all and sundry. There is still another group that does not want to relive or even think about that horrendous period when under treatment. And yet again there are people who are extremely superstitious about the disease and do not want to talk about their tryst with cancer,'' writes Anoop as he explains that out of the 60 to 70 cancer survivors he got in touch with, only 21 agreed to share their battle with the disease.

Even the media, he recalls, equates the disease with death and despair. `` During the launch of my first book I'd asked a group of journalists what was their immediate association with the word `cancer' and nine out of ten referred to it as `a slow and painful death','' he says and that precisely seems to be the provocation for a book highlighting the lives of many who are still living a good quality of life and making a positive contribution to society.

And as you move to the book and the people who have dared to share their hearts, you wonder what makes them different from others, why have they agreed to share while others have not.

The truth dawns as you read along - they have had the guts, the vision and the ability to give to others.

Take the story of 59-year-old non-smoker, non-tobacco abuser Aneeta Kalra from New Delhi. Seven months ago she was diagnosed as a lung cancer patient, a diagnosis that not only surprised her and her family but also her doctors. "I cannot understand how someone like you can get afflicted with lung cancer. Any other form of cancer, breast or cervical or colon, would be more easily understood in your case," said her doctor, while her three daughters and husband rallied around her like never before.

Or the story of Vijay, who came to know of his cancer shortly after his 40th birthday. Instead of hiding away from the hard reality, throughout his treatment he chose to put it all out in e-mail dispatches to his friends. For reaching out to others and sharing the experience of his surgery and recuperation, Vijay and his wife Nilima received overwhelming response from around the world " filled with love, support, advice and prayer.''

In the book the couple thank all those who "stormed heaven'' on their behalf.

Writes Anoop is his touching style: "Vijay is well on his way back to full health, in the broadest sense of the word. He equates his journey with climbing a mountain and today he finds himself `a short way up the peak'. From his tumultuous experience, Vijay has extracted two great personal learnings about `healing'. One, the greatest block to healing is our (natural) tendency to externalise illness. Viewing illness as coming from `out there' does give short-term comfort. But to truly overcome illness, one has to take personal responsibility for it. In other words, genuinely internalise it. Two, that close relationships are an immensely powerful supporting factor in healing.''

The couple has taken another `giving' step in their battle with cancer. They have got into counselling others and organising workshops in the field of `Integrated Human Development and Health'.

The other 19 stories are equally poignant, waiting to be read and converted into a positive image of the disease and the people who struggle to fight it. Anoop reveals that two of those who've shared their stories have succumbed since, but their courage remains as words in the book. In other cases their loved ones have chosen to tell the story.

Anoop himself feels a `new person' as a cancer survivor. He writes: The quiet that follows the completion of a cancer treatment is sometimes more difficult to cope with than what had gone before. You are no longer the centre of attention. No longer does your family treat you with the same consideration as they did when you were undergoing treatment. Or your friends for that matter. They don't come and visit you as often as they had earlier. Or inquire about your health status. You are left coping with the `new' you.

Left to your own devices as a cancer survivor, only you know what you went through. How you suffered during the long and arduous treatment. Only you realise what you are going through. What was happening inside? Others around you don't. And this adds a big strain on all your relationships. With people. With family. With friends. Others around you have remained the same. You have changed forever.''

And Anoop quotes the words all of us turn to when we cannot explain, when we are forced to accept and when we have got life and death under our skin - the words of Khalil Gibran:

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,

the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine

the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?"

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Smiles, tears... and a lot of guts