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OF LATE, I have been working extra shift, as the honorary adviser of local CAs, apart from my usual duty as the statement churner of my CM. But, as luck would have it, I do the same thing in both the places — baiting the firangis. And I order my pizzas with bitter gourd garnishing to generate the right juices to start writing. `Who needs a foreigner to head the government?' I write in one place, and for the other camp, the key word `auditing' substitutes aptly.

However, there are many sentences that are common for both my customers. Such as: What we need is real independence — not from poverty or illiteracy, but from foreigners. Why should we allow colonialism once again (followed by a few paragraphs on the misdeeds of East India Company)? Are we not better than the white skin and the whites kin? Our national security is at stake! (This is a powerful line that has to be delivered as a shrill outburst that can shake the security guards outside the hall from slumber.)

We need to come together to fight the common enemy (at this point, all those on the stage should join hands, as the National Front leaders used to do). It is a shame, we need to wake up to reality, arise, and awake! (This has to be said when it is time to break for tea or lunch, to alert those who are drowsily nodding.) We need to pass a law, with just one section that has a simple line — `Ban the foreigners by all means in all places', and name the legislation bitingly as `Get Out Act', not the hackneyed `Quit India' phrase.

While on one side I have only one spokesperson who is relentlessly improvising what I give by adding foreign name to give the audio feel of the other worldly nature (though people tend to mistake it as a new pasta flavour in the corner shop), I am greatly disappointed by the veterans in the accounting profession who are grabbing the mic to talk on the `threat'. The idli-eaters are so jarringly discordant that one is reminded of the music(k) of marriage bands down the Mada Streets.

hindubusinessline@hotmail.com

D. Murali

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