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Daddy cool

Porus P. Munshi

Have you seen the movie `Life is Beautiful'? It's a fascinating story of how a goal and a positive attitude can get you through the most trying of life's circumstances.

The movie is set in Italy during World War II when Mussolini was influenced by and allied with Hitler. The main character, Roberto Benigni, is a Jew with an extremely proactive disposition and a positive attitude.

Benigni gets his proactivity and his positive orientation towards life from his `internal representations' -- the way he chooses to interpret the things that happen to him and around him. For instance, in one scene in the film, Benigni walks down a street with his 5-year-old son and they see a board outside a shop saying `No Jews and dogs allowed'. The son asks him why that's written. He answers that some people are like that. Some don't like dogs and Jews, others don't like camels ... the other day, he says, he came across a board saying `No Koreans and Kangaroos allowed'; another person had a board saying `No camels and Spanish allowed'. It's just the way people are. He asks his son if there's anything he doesn't like. The son says he doesn't like spiders. Fine, says Benigni, we won't allow spiders in our shop. And since he doesn't like Visigoths (Germans), they'll put up a board saying `No spiders and Visigoths allowed'.

Now, Benigni could have been bitter and resentful about that board -- as most of us would be, and, he could have passed on that bitterness and resentment to his son. But no. He chose to interpret it to his son as just a quirk that people h ave. And people can have all sorts of quirks and dislikes -- as Benigni and his son themselves have. Benigni teaches his son not to take something like this personally and, instead, to just look at it as a common human attribute.

Here, Benigni shapes his son's interpretation or beliefs. Why is that important? According to Albert Ellis, the founder of the rational emotive therapy (RET) in psychology, negative or inappropriate beliefs cause most of life's probl ems. He demonstrates with what's known as the A-B-C theory. Here, when people have an emotional reaction at point C after an activating event -- A, it is not the event A that causes the emotional state C. It is the belief system -- B that a perso n holds about the event that causes the emotional reaction. Further, this emotional reaction at C will determine your behaviour.

Take the example of your spouse coming home late (activating event). If you believe at point B that he/she is delayed because of an affair, your emotional reaction at C will be one of jealousy and rage and when he/she does come home, you'r e likely to lash out (behaviour). Now, if at point B you believe that your spouse is late because of an accident, your emotional state at C is likely to be one of anxiety. And when he/she does come home, you'll react with relief. Further, if you choo se to believe that the delay is because of a traffic jam, you'll be neither angry nor anxious, but simply concerned and you'll behave with sympathy and understanding when he/she does come home.

One event -- and at least three different responses based simply on changing beliefs. You can't control the activating event and you can't control your emotions easily. The only thing you can control is your belief or interpretation of the event. In the film, if Benigni had told his son that the entire world was against the Jews, his son would have acquired that belief and that could have led to a state of constant suspicion and fearfulness. Instead, the son now believes t hat the `No Jews allowed' board is just an individual quirk and it could just as easily have been `No Spanish allowed' or `No Visigoths allowed'. Benigni shapes not just his beliefs, but also his entire orientation towards life.

Later in the film, Benigni and his son are sent to a concentration camp. He's determined not to let his son know the true horrors of a concentration camp. So he tells his son that they're all going on a trip because it's the son's birth day. When they're being loaded on to the train that will take them to the camp, while everybody else is dejected, Benigni acts cheerful for his son's benefit. At the camp, Benigni tells his son that they're going to play a game and the first pri ze is a real tank. They have to get 1,000 points to win the tank and the basic rules are that the son has to keep out of sight. The chidren play hide and seek and the adults play other games as well as work to make the tank that will be presented t o the winner. After this, Benigni's entire objective in the camp is to ensure that his son doesn't find out about the stark horror that's going on and to maintain the facade that it's a game.

When a German sergeant comes into the dormitory to give them the camp rules and instructions, he asks for a translator. Benigni hurriedly volunteers though he doesn't speak a word of German. All so that he can `translate' for his son's benefit. W hile the German talks about camp rules and duties, Benigni translates `No one should ask for his momma'; `no lollipops allowed'; `if you don't get a thousand points, no brand new red tank for you'. While the other prisoners gape, Benigni's so n is, of course, delighted that there really is a tank as first prize.

Throughout their stay in the camp, Benigni tries to maintain the facade of a game for his son's benefit. And, although Benigni comes back tired everyday and also shares his meager rations with his son, it soon becomes apparent that he stays far more healthy and fit than the other inmates. Benigni has a goal -- a purpose that the other inmates lack; they lead lives of dejection with no goals and no hope -- and it shows in their bodies wasting away. Benigni cannot afford the luxury of self-pity or complaint or to even show that he suffers, because then his son would find out. His entire goal is to keep his son from finding out the truth.

Victor Frankl, a psychologist and real-life survivor of concentration camps, was struck by the fact that strong, healthy young men seemed to waste away and die while seemingly frail, middle-aged men would survive in the most terrible co nditions. This was happening too often to be a coincidence. On enquiry, Frankl found one thing common among the survivors -- they all had some goal. Something to look forward to. It didn't matter what the goal was as long as it was there. Those who had no goal, wasted away and died. As Nietsczhe puts it, ``He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How.''

The film is a beautiful reminder of how necessary it is to have goals and how important `internal representations' are to the quality of our lives. Both Benigni and his son have goals (for the son, it's winning the tank), and both enjoy bette r health than the other inmates do. And as far as `internal representations' go, as Milton says in Paradise Lost, ``The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.'' In the movie, Benigni does just that. He makes the hell of a concentration camp into almost heaven for his son.

The author is a Chennai-based HR consultant. He can be reached at porusmun@hotmail.com

Picture: A still from the movie `Life is beautiful'